It’s quite incredible just how much pre-packaged personality our children arrive into the world with. Even as infants, they can begin showing these characteristics.
Some little ones have a strong sense of fairness, some laugh easily, some are endlessly curious, or some are a little timid, but lovely when they come out of their shells.
You likely have character traits that have been with you since your earliest days.
But of course, sometimes our personalities and “preconfigurations” are not as helpful as they could be.
For example, a child may be very shy, struggle with a particular sensitivity, or need more attention upon their health outcomes.
A parent often needs to manage these when they express as aversions to certain experiences in life. How does helping your child overcome aversions help them long-term?
That’s not to say these considerations are a character flaw in your little one, only a quirk that must be cared for and managed during the already-complex task of parenthood.
In this post, we’ll discuss some of these aversions, and how to care for them appropriately:
Phobias
Fear is a natural part of childhood, it’s quite intense to learn how to be a new person, but sometimes it can go past the usual worries about the dark or monsters under the bed.
Phobias can pop up early, seemingly out of nowhere, and they don’t always follow logic as we all know.
Perhaps you can relate to worrying about certain things.
Your child might be terrified of dogs despite never having had a bad experience.
Or they may refuse to go near deep water, even in a safe, controlled environment (this isn’t exactly irrational, but it can make daily life more difficult).
While it can be tempting to dismiss these fears as silly, they feel very real to your child.
The best approach is gentle exposure and reassurance, and never forcing them into situations they aren’t ready for.
If they’re scared of dogs, for example, seeing a calm dog from a distance might be the first step, or even visiting a friend who has a calm, placid puppy.
You might even bring a very friendly breed into the house like a King Charles Spaniel, known to be lovely with children.
Over time, as they feel more in control, they may be willing to get closer.
You can always speak to your child’s healthcare provider if the issue is hard to address.
Allergies
Unlike a fear that can be slowly worked through, allergies require a much more hands-on approach through allergy treatments and testing.
Some of these can be minor and manageable, while others can be serious enough to require constant care, and unfortunately we don’t get to decide.
Either way, they can shape a child’s experiences in ways that might not always feel fair.
Sometimes it’s about helping your child learn how to manage their aversions and keeping an eye on how they’re doing.
It can also help to connect with other families who understand what your child is going through.
No child wants to feel left out just because they can’t eat what everyone else is having.
You can also teach your child how to speak up for themselves in a kind and confident way.
And make sure to have any needed medications or treatments ready, just in case.
Sensitivities
Some kids just experience the world more intensely, and of course, there can be reasons for that, such as being on the autism spectrum.
Helping a sensitive child cope often means creating an environment that respects their needs without reinforcing avoidance.
If bright lights bother them, softer lighting at home can help, or if they struggle with certain fabrics, making sure they have comfortable clothing choices can also be of assistance.
Working with a neurodiverse-assistive group can help you learn how to be a parent of a child with certain sensitivities to manage.
Shyness
A shy child isn’t necessarily unhappy being that way, but the world doesn’t always make life easy for those who prefer to hang back, as social expectations can be pressing.
However, if they’re constantly pushed into situations they’re not ready for, it can backfire.
It’s important to be patient. You can help them come out of their shell by attending appropriate child-friendly groups with them like an art club or even martial arts/drama.
If they feel safe in an environment with people they see frequently, you may be surprised how much they can open up.
Daily Struggles
Every child has something they find particularly tough, be that learning new skills, handling change, or managing emotions.
Often these struggles are temporary and just part of growing up.
However, they can also point to something deeper, like a learning difference or an challenge that needs extra support.
Whatever the case, approaching these struggles with patience and reassurance helps more than anything.
A child who feels supported rather than pressured is more likely to keep trying, even when things feel difficult.
You can speak to their teachers or counselors to help them overcome issues, while being that steadfast presence to help them.
With these tips, we hope you feel more confident and empowered to support your child through their aversions—because you have what it takes to guide them with care and strength.